Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Not using the word "Hijab" in my blog title and Sheryl Sandberg

She cites data showing positive correlations between success and likability for men, and negative correlations between success and likability for women. "That means that as a man gets more successful, he is better liked by men and women, and as a woman gets more successful, she is less liked by men and women," Sandberg explains. "But I want to be clear: I am not saying that men are too self-confident. That's not the problem. The problem is that women aren't self-confident enough."  source

What is self-confidence to you? 

I used to think it only referred to one's perception of their physical appearance. Now that I am older, however, I think I am starting to really grasp how self confidence can affect every facet of ones life. 

  • the friends you make
  • the jobs you apply for
  • the hobbies you busy yourself with
  • the goals you set for yourself
  • the social activities you attend
  • the way you speak
  • the way you dress
  • the person you spend the rest of your life with
  • Even the way you title your blog!

Don't you think? Everything about our lives in some way reflects whats going on inside of us.

My Blog title and Avoiding the word "Hijab"

I was afraid to name my blog Furiously Fab at first. I knew I did not want to include the words "Hijab" or "Hijabi" (no offense to you sisters) but it seemed that EVERYBODY was putting that in their blogs.

Because of all this overemphasis on hijab politically and emotionally I felt that one of our biggest issues is that we constantly talk about it!!! No wonder hijab is not only an internal battleground for Muslim women (we criticize and judge each other on our levels of modestly astagfirallah) but now it becomes the only way others define us. And because many non-Muslims don't understand the true meaning of it, its an automatic negative perception. 

I detest this emphasis, therefore, I didn't want to define myself by my scarf and I also felt it was too restrictive. Maybe including the word "hijab" would isolate away my non scarfed up sisters? I wanted a Non-Muslim readership as well and they are more likely to recognize the word "Muslim" over "Hijab."

I love my blog title now because at the end of the day it forces me to consider that I am fabulous. I don't like saying it but I should think so of myself. As should all of you.

Even if its not the word fabulous. Throw something else in there and believe it. 

Who is Sheryl Sandberg?

American business woman with a big cup of awesomeness. 

  • Current Chief Operating Officer of Facebook. 
  • Former member of the chief of staff to the US Department of Treasury. 
  • Voted 5th most powerful woman in the world by Forbes Magazine in 2011, 3 steps above First Lady Michelle Obama. 
  • She also wrote Lean In: Women, Work and the will to Lead. 

She is becoming more vocal about women and careers. She herself is a working mother and believes that women in whatever area of life, if they decide to, should really become more self-confident in their careers and going for higher level positions. 

I didn't know how low the statistics were for female participation in all facets of life but really its sad. 

As Muslims we unapologetically embrace women's roles as mothers. There is Qur'anic, and Hadith (Sunni and Shia) that extol the level that women are and SHOULD be viewed in this world. 

Allah explains his mercy is more of that than a mother to her child.

Narrated 'Umar bin Al-Khattab: Some Sabi (i.e. war prisoners, children and woman only) were brought before the Prophet and behold, a woman amongst them was milking her breasts to feed and whenever she found a child amongst the captives, she took it over her chest and nursed it (she had lost her child but later she found him) the Prophet said to us, "Do you think that this lady can throw her son in the fire?" We replied, "No, if she has the power not to throw it (in the fire)." The Prophet then said, "Allah is more merciful to His slaves than this lady to her son." [Bukhari]

Even in Surat Fatihah and the Basmala we can reflect on Allah's majesty in the creation of women.

Rahma relates to Allah's mercy which is compared to that of a mother. Rahma relates to Rahim and the word "womb" in Arabic." The concept of the "womb" is all up in the Qur'an and Hadith Subhanallah....last time I checked, only women had wombs.

In yo face brothas!!!

brushes shoulders off*

Interesting, there is barely mention of how this position of women/mothers is ever diminished by her education, career, or leadership participation.

The status of women in so many aspects of society (in Muslim majority countries too) is at many times, atrocious. I think it is probably because we aren't even present in that public sphere to lobby for our sisters at those levels. Brothers in reality tend to be absolutely neglectful and careless when it comes to vouching for female rights.

Question 1: For example, how many masajid in the United States actually have adequate spaces for women worshipers?

Question 2: How many brothers complain about it?

Question 3: How many of them are doing something about it?

It's our fault sisters.

Sheryl Sandberg doesn't know this. But she is my new best friend. I don't have the luxury of being a stay at home mom anymore (post divorce) which is incredibly disconcerting. My daughter is young, and I no longer get to spend that precious time or ability to home-school her like I was doing when I was married. 

Now however, I think I realize I can offer something even better to her. Allah swt chose a different path for us. I will work to establish an empire that I can perhaps one day pass down to my daughter, and with that, the self-confidence to take care of herself. 


  1. I've always felt that you will do a good job at whatever you put your mind to and you'll look good doing it and abolish the opposition with your wit and charm. But I'm a bit biased.

  2. Love. Love. Love this post sis. Our beloved prophet, peace and blessings be upon him ordered the men not to stop us form worshipping at the masjid but like you said how many masjids have a s sister's section?
    If they do how many times is that section closed?? If there are workshops for sisters they are based on motherhood.
    Yes yes we need these kind f thing but a workshop on plumbing, carpentry would be better since we are in the house soo much we should be taught how to maintain it!

    About the's what defines sisters so I am seeing. It is like 'Ohh so and so is practicing now because she wears hijab now!'
    I am like 'What?!' So yes whilst hijab is a symbol for a muslim woman, her uniform if you like nowadays it is like it is a sign you have embraced Islam like the shahaadah didn't do that for you. Allahu must'an!

    Love the brushing off the shoulders! lol

    1. Thanks for reading Sanaa, I am so glad alhamdoolilah that you like it!

      I never really thought about it but subhanallah you are right! I know nothing about these things when it comes to the house! I think you just inspired me Sanaa! I completely understand your explanation of Hijab in that sense. It being a symbol of someone embracing Islam, thank you :)

  3. I really liked this post! THANK you for putting it out there girl!
    I get it, there are a TON of hijab style blogs out there and a reason I named my blog Haute Muslimah is because there are so many different kids of Muslimah's out there and we all have the right to look good and feel good!

  4. As Salaamu Alaikum!

    I watched the interview on 60 minutes with this woman. She had lots of great points that still are loudly speaking in my mind. Thank you for putting the Islamic twist on it. As intelligent, skilled, Allah LOVING women, we need to light the torch and pass it to the next generation! May Allah guide us, give us the most gratitude and instill in us fearlessness of mankind Ameen.


You are AmaZing


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