In the name of the Almighty, the most Beneficent, the most Merciful.
Sometimes when I meet people for the first time, the question I always end up asking them is not what they do, but
what do they love to do. Its probably a little weird meeting someone who you just learned their name, and hearing that deep provoking question only moments later!
It is not that I want to sell myself as a life-coach or anything, I just find that the best way that I can connect with someone is through our passions.
By the way, it doesn't matter if the person and I share alike passions. I think that may be the main point of asking people what their occupation or education is. Its as if we are sifting through a pile of rough pieces for one that feels smooth so we can say ah HAh! they aren't so bad. But hearing someone voice their passion, on the other hand, is an experience in itself.
Their face glazes over for a few moments to form the answer and when they do speak they can't help but smiling. And you feel it, as if they were singing a song from their heart, its like they were holding your hand and taking you along their dream inside of them...how beautiful!
If that is not a reason to form a friendship, I don't know what is!
I once met a girl in university who confidently breathed that her dream was to become a librarian. I was a bit confused at first.
Then she schooled me on much education a librarian needed, and the beauty of helping people seek their way in a world of knowledge. Subhanallah...how beautiful!
Setting the Wrong Goals for Yourself
When I first created my bucket list after reading this book, one of the lessons I never forgot was a sentence or two which instructed the reader not to write something down that they truly didn't want to do.
Sometimes people set goals for themselves because they sound cool and lofty. It would make others say wow but its not what stirs them inside everyday. As a result, I believe they end up doing damage to their life journeys.
Imagined you took a pile of papers and threw them about in your room and you tried to live with that clutter everyday.
I can use that example because I have a two year old!!!
Clutter is one of the causes of stress, a clean living space always makes you breath deeper. To me its the same way with goals. If you have been telling yourself for 5 years that you want to be a writer, but you haven't even written an article, blurp, or blog article, hung out with writers, joined some kind of guild or club...maybe hunny bunny you don't REALLY want to write, or maybe you don't want it enough!
The Average Person
I think that the most disappointing thing of knowing someone is seeing their potential and how they get caught up in the clutter that keeps them busy and aloof to how short life is. Every now and then I hear them mumble things they wish they were doing or had, before going back to the very things that are preventing them from achieving it.
The truth is, most people have not even opened the door to their song, and if they did, they took a step back and made sure not to go in too deep. They in no way live their lives to seek any goal or purpose to their life.
You wouldn't set a life goal, if it could be achieved that day or in the next 5 minutes. Goals are supposed to be something you work towards.
People are afraid of asking those questions, because it means they then put their own selves on the chopping block. If you realize what your true goals are and see you spent the last 10 years wasting your time then it makes the average person want to turn back and no longer think about it. Are you the average person?
If you want it enough, you won't be too busy to do it.
If you want it enough, you will make time.
If you want it enough then it will haunt you every day or every other day.
If you want it enough then you would be willing to sit down and reflect on it.
If you want it enough then you would give up the things that distract you from it.
If you want it enough then you will do an internal battle for the rest of you life to get there.
If you want it enough, then you will spend money to get there, or you will save to make that path easier.
If you want it enough, then you know that if you repeat the past 5 wasted years again, it would mean the biggest tragedy to your soul!
Learning to Let Go
I have a type A personality and I always feel a kinship with those I connect with in my life. I have had to learn since I was young, some people will never change because they like where they are. There are those that even if they feel deeply sad inside choose to root themselves firmly in their own misery.
Its important to realize there comes a time to let go and leave it up to stronger forces. The best way to change those around you is to be the inspiration you deeply want for others. When people see their friends work towards and achieve meaningful goals, they too will take notice and may then dare to take baby steps towards their own dreams.
Here are the things I wanted enough and achieved:
1. I wanted to be fluent in Spanish in highschool-
My classmates made fun of me for studying the Spanish dictionary and hanging out with non English speakers.
After taking Spanish classes for 5 years I negotiated with the principle and passed over a senior requirement so I could use that time to study advanced Spanish. In 2005 I became the only person in my high school to take the AP Spanish exam. The only person in the history of the school to pass it. And I was awarded for having the highest Spanish grade in the state of Delaware out of all other high-school students.
2. I wanted to go to Egypt since I was in middle school-
I talked about it, started doing projects on it. Envisioned it. I started learning Arabic. Found a college with a good study abroad program and got myself accepted. I applied and lived over there for a year and it changed my life since, because it strengthened my Islam and I now speak 3 languages alhamdoolilah.
3. I wanted to do something about the increasing Islamophobia in my school-
I hated what I was hearing from students at my university. I hated what I heard on the media. I told my friends one day we are going to do a comedy show with just women and we are going to show the world Muslim women are funny, approacheable, and love their faith. Over 3 months WHILE doing a double major my sisters and I planned this event. I wrote half the skits, pushed my best friends to go up on stage and do something they never dared in their lives. I debated muslims on the phone and sought permission from local Shaykhs and Imams. We had an event that pulled more people that had ever came to a Muslim club event in the past and they loved it. For weeks after the show, the performers were being approached by strangers and making new friends.
Now my university continues to do the show, and I have heard other universities have tried to copy it.
4. I want to create a top competitive fashion brand in the Muslim market that models itself heavily on corporate social responsibility, makes our employees say they love their jobs, and expands beyond selling beautiful things to providing education, grants, and inspiration for others following their dreams!
Over a year ago, I was divorced, homeless and less than 20 bucks in my bank account wondering if I would be able to take care of my daughter. Today, alhamdooilah, I have my own place with my sister and we are building up clientele and just achieved our first of many photo shoots. The website is coming and inshallah ta ala we will have a launch party in Chelsea in NYC with the support of an established and well known makeup company.
I want this more than anything I have wanted and one day I will get there.
Don't let this short life pass you by. Stop failing yourself and cluttering your life. Find a way, and get there!