And it occurred to me....that I had been washing dishes left and right and must have vacuumed the house 3 times earlier that day! The first mess started when I attempted to take a bath. Sou sou opened the refrigerator, took a container of lunch meat and decided to season the carpet with the contents.
I came out and didn't know whether to roar, cry, or lock myself in my room. That was just the beginning of the day.
I think being a parent, especially a single parent feels like being locked in a prison where everyday you toil and labor, you get beaten by your own waning lack of energy due to sleep loss and poor nutrition. If you dare get out of line a security guard (2.5 year old) screams in your face to set you straight.
breath*
Every day is like a constant battle for me. But my vision is to get things in line with what I truly want. That is to be a stable, happy, healthy, loving parent with a successful empire that does good in this world through beauty and is pleasing to the Almighty.
crosses fingers* |
My main goal is 2 things now that I struggle with every day. Managing an emerging business as a strategist, decision maker, as well as a designer, AND being a mom and maintaining a home all day.
It sounds impossible and feels impossible but this will not be my future. This is temporary until I get everything aligned inshallah.
I am going to envision my perfect day and share it with you.
Its an exercise that is a bit familiar. I did this over a year ago when I thought of starting my business. I was told to write a letter to myself 5 years in the future of where I was in life, how I felt, and what I was doing (not just regarding the business by the way).
That letter is probably gone forever still stuck on the hard drive of my laptop which broke last year (DUE TO SULTANA THROWING A CALCULATOR AT IT)
breath*
However I do remember how disgustingly happy it made me! Everything started to make perfect sense because I envisioned my end goal.
Digression...
Some people start businesses impulsively and get blamed for not planning and preparing for it. But I think they should instead ask...
Planning for what, preparing for what?
If you start a business for the sake of making money only, you are selling yourself and your customers short. The end goal will always be profits and your customers will realize it eventually through the way you communicate with them, market to them, and through your products.
Has this happened to you? You go into a store and get assisted by a worker. You happily make a purchase only to find out the products just weren't the right fit for you or it turned out to be much worse then you expected. When you go back to that store, or say online company, to file your complaint you either get attitude, the cold shoulder, or ridiculously difficult procedure to follow.
Most of the time people give up and they don't even bother, because they are so used to fighting. You see, there is no relationship, only lots of pomp and crap to induce the sale. Then, you leave people out in the dust, because the end goal was met....money.
How sustainable is that over time at the end? Money does not always beget more money, and yes there are successful companies with monopolies who were quite strategic. Then you must ask, are their policies, strategies, and overall business doing good in the world around them? Does it please Allah or are they going to be asked about it later.
God protect us from such a fate!
The better end goal should be yourself. When you start something, where is it that you want it to take you? My vision of my ideal life was a mixture of my happiness, the happiness of those whom I love, happiness of those whom I will be responsible for(customers and employees), and striving to please God.
always striving..
The business then becomes a means rather than an end. It becomes a joy, not a burden. It becomes a lifestyle, not a job. It becomes for the customer, employee, and environment, not just for profit. And then, it becomes a means to serve a higher purpose to attain things money cannot buy!
stay tuned for part 2...
Everything is gonna be ok sis.
ReplyDeleteAllah subhana wa ta'ala has plans for you.
XO Arezu
Thank you Arezu. Inshallah they will get better.
DeleteAhh Subhhnallah I love the *breathing! Yes you have to breathe or you will scram and sadly loose your voice! lol Ahh sis I love this post. You despite the craziness are focused and ambitious and may Allah keep you that way. Sultana sounds like my little one. We should hook up on skype and let them chat one day inshaAllah. Stay sweet!
ReplyDeleteDefinitely woman I think that would be good idea to bond haha! Id love that Id think she'd love that too inshallah. Thank you for understanding me! Love and kisses :)
DeleteThere are no words that will simply what I want to say, but I know you have a handle on all of this. How do I know? Because of your personailty, and second because just from reading your post I can see that you know when you've had enough, and while we can't always just bow out or surrender - you have handle this situation as only a human can.
ReplyDeleteLove you sis- and honestly when you tell these "awful" stories about Sou Sou, I just smile because really she is too cute :)
xo
Thank you sis for understanding. I always appreciate and love your support. I do know that while she makes me want to beat myself silly with a foam bat other ppl would be laughing at what shes doing lol
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